I’m torn apart.
Mercilessly ripped limb from limb by my mind’s shadow.
It’s a sickness I can’t fix and I faced that.
There is no fixing this pain.
It can not be silenced
It can not be ignored
It can not be rid of
I’m left in my desired solitude
Always thinking
Always waning in it’s overbearing presence.

A few things I should note that you knew nothing about:
-I planned to devote the end of my summer break to surprise visit you. I already started to save up money...$98 towards plane tickets.
-I was going to give up getting a tattoo to use that money on seeing you as well.
-You're the reason I've been dedicated to losing weight...14 pounds in a month 'n' half and counting
-You have been constantly on my mind since December.
-Despite all the shit that happened between us, I just wanted you to be happy.
-I don't know if I'll miss you but I do hope you come back....whatever that means.
-I'm sorry for whatever I did that made you hate me but I think the way you left was distasteful.

You've left again

I'm not surprised.
Well, I'm not surprised you've left...surprised more at how you did it.
I'll be sure to act like I fell off the face of the earth.
Hope all goes well for you.
You aren't the missing piece, I guess.

You're spending Valentine's day with someone else.
That hurts.
I want to be that girl.
I want to spend the night in your bed talking all night.
Kiss you goodnight and say I love you.
Because I fucking do.
So much.
And it feels irrelevant.



Stop playing games with me.
You're someone I don't want to hate.

for all the reasons I love you

make honesty much harder than it should
coming clean has happened and I felt free for moments
when these moments passed
the void in my life became ever so empty

for some reason, I believe with all that's left of my heart that you are it.
and under the circumstances I can see why anyone but I would believe how immature and pathetic this conclusion may seem
but leaving you behind, shutting you out
it's no longer an option because for the first time in a long time I let someone in,
I let you in.
You invaded me from miles away.
Swimming through me, head to toe.
I so foolishly fell in love with you and fucked it up.
I'm young, this is true but I am not dumb.
I feel a feeling grander than most I've ever felt.
I see you when I close my eyes.
I see you in my dreams
and if your touch is as gentle and sincere as it is in these
than I surely know I don't want another soul to have access.



This is all I feel, raw emotion
This is my uncensored view of you
and you will never know
because your reaction will break me.

I'm tired of being this disgusting person

I gained 5 pounds after I just worked off 10
I'm fucking pathetic.

I can't wait to leave.

I hate these people, these unoriginal mirrors.

I’m getting so sick of all the fucking boo-hoo’s and last minute drama.

I’m so tired of faking friendships.

I’m so frustrated with people giving a fuck about all the wrong things.

When I leave, I become a ghost to everyone here.

When I’m gone, don’t act like you all fucking cared.

Eat.

My.

Shit.